All We Are
by justanoutlaw
Summary: Regina needs to follow the plan. If she follows it, she can focus on the baby. Just the baby. Not on the fact that she's delivering her baby without the father.


**S5/S6 canon divergence. In a world where Regina never took the fertility potion. Takes place after Robin's death. Based on an episode of Private Practice. Snow Queen/Regina & Little John (do they have a ship name?) feels.**

I kept falling over

I kept looking backward

I went broke believing

That the simple should be hard-Matt Nathanson

Regina had entered parenthood a single mother and had never felt like she was missing out during that time. She had never thought she'd find romantic love again.

The difference was this time, she hadn't chosen it. Not just the pregnancy, but to go it alone either.

It had only been 9 months since the showdown in her office. 273 days since Hades obliterated Robin's soul. Not even a full year since she watched his casket lowered into the ground or witnessed Roland lay a feather onto his grave.

It took 23 days for her to realize how sick she felt. At first, she wondered if it was from the lack of eating and no sleep. But after another week and another missed period, it was impossible to ignore. Two lines on a stick confirmed it. Robin would live on in more than just the two kids he had left behind.

She waited the standard 12 weeks to tell anyone, waiting for something bad to happen. She held her breath at every sonogram, didn't even look out of fear of getting attached. Regina Mills had lost far too much, she wasn't going to allow herself to go through more pain if she could help it.

Henry was the first person she told. He was happy for her, saying he couldn't wait to be a big brother. Snow and David were next. She hated the looks of pity in their eyes, but when Snow hugged her, she found herself comforted.

Then Snow asked, "What do you need?"

Regina pondered it. What could possibly help her with the thought that she was raising a child that would never know their father?

Maybe just never thinking about it.

"I need a plan."

The next few months were filled with just that. Her datebook had every appointment written down; she knew exactly when the next milestone was due. As soon as she could, Regina mocked up a birth plan and went over it with the doctor. She picked the best birthdate, one that wouldn't conflict with any holiday or bad memory. In between making sure the town didn't explode and helping Henry with homework, Regina put together a nursery.

5 months and 3 days in, she heard the words, "Congratulations, it's a boy."

She resented Zelena for naming her niece after Robin in that moment.

There was no baby shower. She didn't want to celebrate. People sent gifts, but she let them pile up in the castle themed nursery. Henry knew better and set up the feather mobile he had built above the crib. Regina looked at it tearfully, not allowing herself to cry.

39 weeks and 3 days, Regina went into be induced. Snow drove her to the hospital, but she went into the room alone. It was her baby's birthday, the start of her new life as a mother of two.

And she was doing it without her soulmate.

Snow was only half-heartedly reading her book. Henry had his nose buried in a comic, but she suspected he was doing the same. The woman they both loved was in there, doing something terribly brave and doing it in the way they could expect from Regina, by herself. Snow didn't blame her. She tried to picture either of her labors without David by her side and it was just too painful. No one, not even Emma when it came to Neal, would've been any consolation.

The double doors to the waiting room opened, causing Snow to look up. The tiny area was suddenly very crowded by a group of large men that were all too familiar. A small smile fell over her face as she walked over to them, taking Little John's hand.

"How did you hear?" She asked.

"Granny sent word." He craned his head around her. "How is she?"

"Last I got a text from her, well. She wants to go it alone."

John stood up straighter. "This is Robin's baby, Roland's brother or sister. He or she is part of this family. We're here for her, no matter what."

Snow's smile grew a bit. "I don't think her mind will change, but I'll go ask."

She headed back to the room, finding Regina clamping onto both sides of one of the bedrails, biting furiously on her lip. She looked quite a sight. Who would have ever thought they'd see Regina Mills out of a pantsuit and in a paper gown?

Snow rushed to her side and began rubbing her back gently. "Do the breathing you learned in Lamaze."

"I didn't go to those stupid classes," Regina bit back.

Snow raised an eyebrow. "Okay…well…then just copy me." She started to do what she had learned through videos while pregnant with Neal. Regina rolled her eyes at first, though soon copied.

Slowly, the contraction must have passed and Regina collapsed back onto the bed. "What are you doing back here?"

"The Merry Men have arrived."

"Who…"

"Granny. Not sure how she heard."

"This stupid town is far too small," Regina's brows furrowed. "I don't want them here."

"They're Robin's family. They just want to support you."

"It's not in the plan, Snow."

Snow wanted to say a lot of things. She wanted to argue about Regina's plan, say she should know more than anyone that plans change. She wanted to say that for once, Regina didn't have to be alone. She wanted to get behind Regina and hug her so tightly and never let go. However, she was convinced Regina being in labor would give her more incentive to kill her. She had been through so much, she deserved to get whatever she wanted.

"Okay." Snow kissed her temple. "We'll be in the waiting room when you're ready."

She headed back out there, the men still standing for the most part. Snow cleared her throat, to get their attention.

"She…she really just wants it to be her."

John looked around at the others, before looking back at her. "We'll still stay."

It took 7 hours and 15 minutes for Regina to be ready to push.

Maybe it was the pain, the sweat or the hormones. Maybe it was the literal pressure of bringing new life into the world. However, it was only in labor that she allowed herself to truly think of Robin and what this was.

She was alone.

She was doing this alone.

This baby wasn't going to have a dad.

"I can't do this," she cried.

"Regina…." The doctor began.

"No! I can't do this! I need Robin!"

"Regina, I need you to push. This baby is coming now."

She could feel the tears pouring down her cheeks. "I just finally thought I wasn't alone."

Involuntarily, Regina, had to let out another push. She didn't hear the doctor talking to the nurse. A few moments later, the door opened and she looked up, her hair sticking to her forehead with the sweat. Snow and John walked to either side of her bed, each taking a hand.

"You're not alone, Regina," John said. "You have a whole waiting room full of people to prove it."

Regina let out a shaky breath, in too much pain to say anything. The tears continued to fall as Snow pressed another kiss to her temple. "Now push this baby out before I rip it out of you," she whispered, harshly, yet with a smile on her face.

That's how many minutes of pushing it took for Wyatt Robin Hood-Mills to come into the world.

That's the number of seconds it took for Regina to fall in love with him.

He had blue eyes that most newborn babies had, but she knew that they were gifted to him by his father.

63 minutes later, Snow White and Little John introduced Wyatt to the Merry Men and Henry. There was a line for him to be held, but his older brother was first.

Hades had once said that Robin's soul was obliterated. Henry had never believed that. Robin had to live on somewhere. Everyone did.

And as he stared into the eyes of his new baby brother, he knew nothing more to be true.


End file.
